These Kids are a Riot!

The words that come out of Noah and Ava's mouths lately rival those of any stand-up comedian's (see previous post).  Here are a few of my favorites from the last several weeks:

• Ava was sitting next to me on the couch and I noticed she had unusually bad breath.  I said, "Ava, you might want to go in the bathroom and brush your teeth."  She replied, "Who smelt it, dealt it."
• Noah awakened in the middle of the night with a bloody nose and a terrible cough.  I led him into our bathroom, which is completely mirrored on the wall above the sinks.  As soon as he saw the nose bleed in the mirror, he started crying and coughing hysterically, which caused the blood to start coming out of his mouth.  It really looked like something from a horror film.  The sight of this caused him to cough and cry harder, and so it went.  We finally awakened enough ourselves to realize that we should turn him away from the mirror and get him calmed down.  After the crying and bleeding had subsided, he looked at me and said, "this is the most terrible day of my life."
• The night before Noah's birthday, we wrapped his gift and set it in his room so he could open it when he got up in the morning.  It was a Lego, and he opened it and began building it immediately.  I came to check on him later and he said, "I'm so glad Dad bought me this Lego."  I said, "how do you know Dad bought you that Lego?" and he responded, "Because it's cool."

The Next Billy Mays

If Noah is any indication, informercials are worth the money the companies spend on them. Tonight after we put him to bed, I went in to get some hangers from his closet and he said, "Mom, you should get Wonder Hangers. They can hold your clothes and a 20-pound weight!"

Success!!

6 years, 11 months, 9 days .... and finally! Noah lost his first tooth :)

To Spank or Not to Spank...

Sometimes following through on a promise I've made to my kids is harder than I think it will be. Since coming back from Christmas vacation, Noah has had several sad faces in his folder - this means he's doing something at school he's not supposed to do. Being the social butterfly he is, the marks are always for talking when he shouldn't be, and after the third of these I decided it was time to level a serious threat. If he brought home another sad face, it meant a spanking. A hard one. With a wooden spoon.

Well, today was the day. He had a sad face and a comment from the teacher, "talkative." I explained to him that when we got home I would spank him just as I had said I would do. After eating dinner, I told him to go to his room and I would be in to dole out the punishment. By the time I got to his room he was already sobbing and I almost caved. But I told him to pull down the pants, and he complied. Two whacks and the screaming, blood-curdling bawling began. And that was from me.

I am an advocate of corporal punishment especially for strong-willed children such as he. I just had no idea how hard it would be to follow through. Now I understand what "this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you" means. Ah ... the joys of parenthood.

Not So Black Friday

Shopping sucks. I hate it even when there aren't good bargains and hoards of people. Between my dislike of talking on the telephone and entering shopping malls, I sometimes question whether I really have two X chromosomes.

Today started as all Fridays after Thanksgiving do for me - I got to the store I wanted to get something from 5 minutes before it opened only to be greeted by a line that was about 500 people long. Of course, when I finally made it into the store there were no Lego Imperial Star Destroyers left ... but I did overhear one VERY irritated middle-aged man complaining to a store employee that he was the second person in line and when he got there, there were no Lego Imperial Star Destroyers, either.

So on to Toys R' Us. To my utter amazement, they did have the Lego I was looking for, several of them in fact, and I didn't even have to get there at 5:00 with all the other crazy moms overeager to please their children on Christmas morning. Stops at three other stores were lucrative as well - several people crossed off the list of "still to buy for" and well over 30 shopping days left until Christmas!! (I am typically the person still doing most of my shopping on Christmas Eve day).

We had some time when I got home to watch Wall-E, spend some time with Carah and Kaylah, and take Noah to get his haircut. Even that went well ... he's almost 6 and he finally made it through without crying or growling at the person cutting his hair! Tonight we took the kids to see Santa and the snow globes at the Shops at Willow Bend and had a nice meal and good drinks at Cantina Loredo (not all of us - the kids had lemonade). So all in all, I can say this was a not so black Black Friday.

Chi

No - not the thing you straighten your hair with.
Noun: vital energy that is held to animate the body internally - in traditional Chinese medicine, the balance of positive and negative forms in the body is believed to be essential for good health.

I do not fear for my family's health - our day was the perfect balance of positives and negatives.

Thanksgiving 2008's positives:

• My family - mom, dad, Bryan, Jayme, Carah, Kayla, Chris, Noah, Ava - all in good health and together for 8 hours in good spirits.
• Great food - breakfast (eggs, bacon, potatoes, pancakes, biscuits) and lunch (turkey, roast beef, potatoes, green beans, stuffing, sweet potatoes, gravy and dinner rolls). And of course, Stella's should-be-world-famous chocolate chip cookies.
• Fun - playing dress-up, the kids and adults playing outside on the playscape, playing catch
  
• Football - win or lose, it's just not Thanksgiving without the TV tuned to the game(s).

Thanskgiving 2008's negatives:

• My family - Bryan burping at the dinner table without excusing himself, Chris spending a good part of the day working on the plumbing in the hall bathroom, Noah asking for something to eat 5 minutes after getting down from the table after lunch.
• Great food - too much at breakfast, lunch, and of course way too many of Stella's chocolate chip cookies.
• Fun - Ava going out in the front yard to play catch in a dress-up outfit that made her look like a hooker.
  
• Football - The Lions losing ... again. Of course, if they won this might throw the world as we know it completely out of balance. So, Lions - for the sake of my family's chi, thank you for once again not winning on Thanksgiving Day.
  

Mohawk

This is what I woke up to Friday morning. Chris had talked about doing it, but of course he couldn't be serious. I obviously underestimated his sincerity (not to mention his nerve).When Chris went in to wake Noah up that morning, Noah opened his eyes and said, "I like your hair, Dad. Can I cut my hair like that?" I heard Chris reply, "I don't think mom would like that very much, Noah." Ava, like myself, didn't even acknowledge what he had done. Maybe she also thought that by not saying anything the hair would magically reappear where it had been the day before.

Chris is not an easily embarrassed person; however, he did say that he felt uncomfortable at work. He said that people would pass him and glance quickly then walk away like they hadn't seen anything. He also mentioned hearing teenagers at a store snickering after he passed. I guess sometimes it's better for me not to say anything - others take care of it for me!